Fever
by theresaherondale
Summary: During Never Fade Liam was sick. Sick with illness, sick with longing and sick with confusion. A couple of short scenes from his point of view.


The world was smudged, like someone had drawn it in chalk and then tried to rub it all away; it was still there, but it didn't make sense. I hurt, I was confused, there was no clarity to anything at all. I could have been underwater, it would have made more sense. Boiling, boiling water that muffled sounds and made it difficult to breathe. But then there was relief, a hand on my head, so cool that the boiling water steamed and fled towards the sky. I pried my eyes open and looked at the blurred face of... of... I didn't know. They said something, I don't know what, but I saw their mouth move to form words that I couldn't hear. I didn't understand what was happening, I didn't... I closed my eyes again, the effort of keeping them open too much.

'Chubs went to get something. He'll be right back.' Chubs, I knew Chubs. This... this girl knows Chubs too. And somehow, I _knew _that_. _I nodded in response, but I'd already forgotten what she'd said. She touched me again, wiping away the heat that clung to my skin and replacing it with a cooling that I hoped would never go away. I robotically turned towards it, I needed more of the sweet relief that the touch gave. My eyes opened again in my seeking and my vision cleared enough to see the angel that was aiding me.

'You're awfully pretty. What's your name?' I tried to say, but ironically, the most coherent thoughts I'd had since... since... came out stammered and weak.

'Ruby.'

That's right. Everything about it was right. I loved it. _Ruby. Ruby. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. _Wait, it wasn't right. Ruby, I didn't know Ruby. My moment of clarity had gone. Everything was blurred again. Cole said... Ruby was a dream. I realised I must still be dreaming.

More water on my face. More water to kill the fire, more water to drown in.

'A dream? What kind of dream.'

I remembered the dream of Ruby. Her smile, her touch, her beautiful eyes. I saw her through the fog; her memory alive behind the clouds where she tried to hide. If I could choose a dream to live in, I'd choose Ruby. 'A good one.'

More figures emerged behind the fog. The memories fighting to get out. Zu... Zu was still... Where was Zu? Then I saw her, and I saw her leave. She's in danger. I thought I told her... she was supposed to go with... I don't know where she is. I'm supposed to know where she is.

'... safe...'

Safe? I forced myself to breathe. Safe. But I wasn't safe, I hurt. When she wasn't here it hurt. 'Don't go again,' I pled. 'Don't go... where I can't follow, please, _please, _not again...' Don't hide behind that cloud again. I needed to see her. Always.

'I'll stay right here.'

No. No you won't. Don't lie to me. _This is a place we don't have to_ _lie_. The words were familiar but distant.

Then she was gone. I felt the absence in my skin and in my chest. I tried to find her behind the cloudy fog that was descending again but the pain in my chest got worse and worse until my body started to force it up out of my lungs. I tried to sit, my chest contracting while trying to remove whatever was causing the pain until hands pushed me down again. Down... down...

She was back. The pain eased but the coughs remained. But I didn't care. She was back.

* * *

Waking up after knocking at Death's door is like Death rejected you and sent his two 300lbs henchmen to greet you and throw you like a football until you land a hundred miles away at the bottom of a rocky ravine. A hell of a lot better than the alternative but it hurts like a Mother. I groaned as I opened my eyes and saw Chubs. My head pounded and my muscles screamed but the cloud that had been hanging over me was evaporating. Chubs was sitting there with bags the size of Texas under his eyes but the relief in them almost made them unnoticeable.

'Hey,' I said, 'You don't have to sit there like you just saw the resurrection of The Holy Son, it's just me.' I teased, knowing that he'd understand that it was me telling him I was okay without really telling him.

'Lee... I thought... We all thought...' He was tearing up again. I pushed myself up to try and comfort him when he grabbed me into a hug so tight I thought I was going to have to go back to Death's door and try the doorbell instead.

'Chubs—' I squeaked and he released me, patting me on the shoulder as he moved back to reveal two more people. A boy who couldn't be older than 15 and a girl with electric hair and an expression to match.

'Oh, look at that, he's alive. Looks like we don't have to take his corpse with us to find Ruby after all.'

'Vida—' Chubs started, but I didn't let him finish.

'Ruby? Where is she?' I craned my neck, hearing the unused joints popping while I did. _Ruby. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. _

'She, uh, she's not here right now. We should actually go pick her up soon.' Chubs said uneasily. My suspicion aroused. Chubs was always uneasy, but this was different. There was genuine fear there. His eyebrows creased. 'Do you know her?'

I frowned at his question. 'Of course I know her.'

Chubs's expression changed and there was a little of everything mixed up in his features. His eyes were sad, his forehead was hopeful, his mouth was worried. 'How do you know her, Liam?'

'I... I, uh. She—' I looked for Ruby in my head but all I saw was her face. Her expressions and her voice. A green dress. Everything else was black, like there was something there that I couldn't see. Like I was walking into a room with the lights turned off. I looked and looked and then one of the lights turned on. 'She was here, wasn't she?'

'Yeah, man.' Chubs said softly. 'She was here.'

'That's not it though, is it? There's something there, Chubs. I can feel it, but I can't see it.' My eyes squeezed shut at the desperation to find Ruby in my mind. It's a funny kind of torture, knowing someone you don't know. Her memory was everywhere, but I didn't know what the memory was.

'I'm going mad.' I whispered.

'You're not mad,' said Chubs, 'you're sick. But the medicine we brought you seems to be doing the trick.'

'You brought me medicine?' Where did they even find medicine. It would be like trying to find water in a desert.

'Ruby found it.' The boy said. 'I brought it back, but now that you're okay we have to go and find her.' His voice was laced with worry and desperation.

'_Why?' _ I demanded. 'Where is she?'

'It's nothing! She'll be fine!' Shouted Chubs which only worried me even more. Everyone was quiet for a few seconds. I looked at each of them in turn, trying to make sense of the situation. Vida turned and walked away before quickly returning with a small bottle of water that she threw at me.

'Here, drink. The faster you get better, the faster we can go and get her and shut these two up,'

I unscrewed the top with much more effort than should have been necessary and downed the water. It was magic. A rainfall in summer. Summer... Ruby. They seemed to go hand in hand. I saw her on a beach. I saw her in a green dress on the beach. I stopped drinking.

'Did I meet Ruby on a beach?' I asked Chubs who looked startled at the question.

'No? You met her here, Liam. There's nothing else to it. You must have been dreaming. Get some rest, now that you're okay we're going to get some supplies sorted so that we can leave as soon as possible.'

I nodded, feeling exhausted already. I lay down, closed my eyes and saw a beach. I saw Ruby. I ran towards her, but she ran away. She was fast but I kept chasing and I knew that I'd never stop.


End file.
